The Powertool Shed

I’m well aware that many people will become pissed off, turned off, put off, or simply want me to step off when I stray from “safe” topics like productivity and time management and explore more sensitive, even controversial topics like relationships, health, or spirituality. However, from past experiences I’ve seen that it’s the ideas we resist most vehemently that are fertile ground for new growth experiences.

Through this blog I’m providing ideas for you to react to, and your reaction to those ideas becomes the seed for your own personal growth. If an idea resonates with you, great. If an idea seems to have no impact on you, it’s not likely important for your growth. But if an idea sparks a fire of resistance within you, there you have a potent seed for growth.

Exploring your own resistance to ideas can help you clarify your own thinking and understand why you believe what you do. My goal isn’t to convert everyone to my way of thinking about subjects like diet or spirituality or relationships. My goal is to help raise your awareness of how you think and behave and to encourage you to make such choices more consciously and deliberately instead of falling back on social conditioning and/or mindlessness.

I have more genuine respect for the meat-eater who takes the time to explore and think about his/her diet carefully, makes a conscious choice about what to eat, acts in accordance with those beliefs, and continues to remain open to new information, than I do for the vegan who simple eats that way because it’s how s/he was raised to behave and never gave it any conscious thought. I have the greatest respect for those who consciously and deliberately explore all aspects of their lives without excessive fear, defensiveness, or resistance those who are most open to finding out the truth as opposed to justifying their current beliefs. Becoming more conscious and aware requires that we do know, and that we don’t ignore information, especially when it provokes resistance within us.

Live consciously and deliberately, with full awareness of what exactly it is you are doing and being. That process leads many people towards similar types of diets, relationships, and spiritual beliefs, but pursue this path for yourself and see where it leads you. The goal isn’t to adopt some particular lifestyle. It’s to look at all the information you’ve gathered from your own personal experience and make what you genuinely believe to be the best choice for you.

If you want to become more conscious, one of the best places to start is with your resistance. By noticing the areas of your life where you can easily be made defensive and resist ideas emotionally, you will see the places where you have tremendous opportunity for growth. Imagine for example a couple you may know whose relationship seems lifeless. If you try to raise the issue with them, they may practically boot you out the door you meet with strong resistance. For that couple their relationship is an area where they have high potential for growth. Where we most resist change is precisely where we must change.

Resisting an idea emotionally and becoming defensive isn’t the same as disagreeing with an idea. If I tell you that I’m really 250 years old, you may dismiss me as a liar or an idiot, but my statement is unlikely to provoke your emotional resistance or make you defensive. You simply disagree, but you don’t resist. However, if I tell you that you look fat and should change your diet, that may indeed provoke some emotional resistance, depending on the degree to which that statement reflects back to you an area where you need to grow.

I believe that if an idea provokes emotional defensiveness and resistance (and not merely intellectual disagreement), therein lies a grain of truth that must be faced in order for you to grow. If I tell you your marriage is a sham and that you should get a divorce, you’ll simply blow me off if you don’t believe it. But if there’s an element of truth to my statement, you’ll likely become defensive, with increasing tenacity the more I press the issue. But the only way to get past that resistance is to face it and to become more fully conscious of exactly what you’ve been resisting, such as the reality that your marriage isn’t working, that your diet is wrong for you, or that your career isn’t fulfilling.

If you and I were to have a one-on-one conversation about your life, which topics could I bring up that would provoke you to become emotionally defensive and resistant? What could I say that would really piss you off and even make you angry at me? Your health? Physical body? Job? Finances? Relationship(s)? Social skills? Parenting skills? Family? Religious beliefs? Political beliefs? Emotional state? Your courage? Your confidence? Your discipline? Your sordid past? Your worst habit? Your addictions?

What will provoke the fight or flight response, making you feel a strong need to either kick me out or fight back hard? Not simple intellectual disagreement but the type of response that shuts down your ability to think logically and has you reacting far more emotionally. What is it?

Resistance shows us where we need more conscious clarity. As you recognize and explore resistance in yourself and become more courageous in facing the unfaceable parts of your life, you will in fact become much more conscious and aware, which will increase your ability to face down other areas of resistance with greater success. It will be increasingly difficult for anyone else to put you into a state of emotional defensiveness because you will become open to new ideas and information without needing to resist them. Clarity will become more important to you than comfort. Change will feel more natural than stability.

Invite ideas to flow through your awareness freely. Think about them. Agree or disagree with them. But when you find yourself emotionally resisting them, recognize that the resistance is within you, not the idea. When you track down the source of that resistance, you will soon recognize where you most need to grow.

Here’s a related article which explores what to do when you recognize where you need to grow but don’t yet feel strong enough to face it consciously:
The Courage to Live Consciously

Copyright © Steve Pavlina

Steve Pavlina
Personal Development for Smart People
http://www.stevepavlina.com
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog (blog)
http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles (articles)

Steve is intensely growth-oriented. He trained in martial arts, ran the L.A. Marathon, and graduated from college in three semesters with two degrees. He can juggle, count cards at blackjack, and make damn good guacamole. Steve is also a polyphasic sleeper, sleeping just 2-3 hours per day and only 20 minutes at a time. So chances are good that he’s awake right now.

Is your life less than perfect? Are you feeling stuck in your
daily routine? Have you ever looked at a friend or colleague and
thought, “Wow, she has it together. What’s her secret?”

Every woman has 10 feminine forces but most rely on only 2 or 3
to get through their day. By adding 1 or 2 new strengths they’ll
realize exponential gains, but the real secret weapon is using
all of them. Harnessing her 10 strengths is the healthiest way a
woman will achieve the career and life she craves.

These 10 strengths will lead you on a discovery that will
surprise, delight and transport you to new levels of personal
and professional growth.

The following are three of 10 strengths women need to embrace:

1. Genius -The secret to a woman’s genius is collaboration.
Instead of solving problems in isolation, we naturally evolved
to connect and collaborate. The success that comes from this
process provides sanity, support and a smarter solution. So
despite how busy we are, women have to make collaboration a
priority.

I watched a group of male CEOs compete with their homemaker
wives at a brain game. The men lost miserably because they
failed to collaborate. They were so surprised that they demanded
a rematch the following night-which they lost too! Naturally,
the women pooled their resources and won again.

2. Engagement - My motto is women CAN do anything–not women
SHOULD do everything. This is the greatest dilemma women face.
If you want a career and a happy family life you’re going to
have to learn to say “NO.” Women need to set their own
expectations for what they want to accomplish, stop being
commitment queens and shed the guilt. It’s okay to admit that
you can’t handle ALL the laundry, ALL the housework and ALL the
carpools. Your husband and kids will have to chip in and help.
You may have to say “NO” to the school fundraiser and any other
cause that distracts you from your goal.

3. Enterprise - Women may not realize it but they’re already
CEOs. They manage the finance, commissary, transportation and
janitorial detail. They are pros at running their family like a
business. It’s time they start acting like a CEO in all aspects
of their lives. CEOs expect a payoff for every business venture.
So, when women take on new ventures or choose how to spend their
time, they should ask “What’s the payoff?” Is it monetary? Is it
good for my spirit? Will it help my position at work or at home?
The profit need not be in cash but there needs to be a payoff.

Whether positioning yourself for a promotion, pursuing a life
goal or simply figuring out what you want to be when you grow
up, the 10 feminine strengths I reveal are Inside Every Woman
and when harnessed will help you achieve lasting success and
fulfillment.

Success Is Inside!

Last night, we were invited to an evening with Ken Roth,
Executive Director of Human Rights Watch.

Human Rights Watch is dedicated to protecting the human rights
of people around the world. We stand with victims and activists
to prevent discrimination, to uphold political freedom, to
protect people from inhumane conduct in wartime, and to bring
offenders to justice. We investigate and expose human rights
violations and hold abusers accountable. We challenge
governments and those who hold power to end abusive practices
and respect international human rights law. We enlist the public
and the international community to support the cause of human
rights for all.

Ken Roth is a former litigator and federal prosecuter, who has
dedicated his energy to the Human Rights cause over the last two
decades.

He explained HRW’s mission, methods, and results in an engaging
talk. A recent victory was described eloquently.

A Belgian judge has issued an international arrest warrant
charging Chads exiled former president, Hissne Habré, with
human rights crimes committed during his 1982-1990 rule. Habré
lives in exile in Senegal, where he was indicted over five years
ago before courts ruled that he could not be tried there. The
Belgian warrant marks a turning point in the long effort to
bring Habré to justice, and should lead to his extradition from
Senegal to Belgium to stand trial. This man, in his days, killed
tens of thousands of people, until Souleymane Guengueng, a
modest and deeply religious civil servant who watched hundreds
of his cellmates perish from torture and disease during two
years in Habrés prisons, took an oath before God that if he ever
got out of jail alive, he would bring his tormentors to justice.

But it was the methods that he described that were the most
compelling.

In a nutshell, HRW uses strategic blackmail to arm-twist
governments and powers to get them to cooperate, and to put a
stop to unacceptable ways. No government wants to be publicly
accused as a human rights violator. HRW has tremendous
credibility with the world media for telling it as it is. Their
reports are authentic, generated by researchers on the field, at
considerable personal risk. They have the ability to create
front page headlines in all major newspapers worldwide.

I was impressed by the combination of ruthlessness and killer
instinct and getting the job done focus, set in the context of
immense kindness.

It was still a rare, warm San Francisco night when we came out.
With a sigh I thought to myself: Such, I hope, would be the
anatomy of leadership in the years to come.

This may come as a surprise… Motivation is not enough!!

Imagine you are in a desert without water or food and the sun is too hot. You fall down and can’t move one step forward.

Then someone comes to you saying, “Hey, don’t let the circumstances break you down, come on, stand up again and continue your journey, you have a giant inside you. You can do it!!!”

I believe this will not help you take a single step forward.
You don’t have the power or the spirit that is ready to receive these motivational words and act upon them.

You may face similar situation with many personal development stuff. You are struggling not knowing what to do and someone comes to tell you that you have a giant inside, you should lead your life, you have the control,…etc

But he doesn’t tell you what to do. And you may say, Ok these words are nice but what should I do? I am lacking resources, knowledge, experience, etc.

So at these situations, what can motivation do?!

There must be a step that should precede motivation.

Think for a while before you continue reading the rest of this article. What in your opinion should precede motivation?

Ok here the answer comes from the success expert Jim Rohn as he says, “Education precedes motivation”.

Wow! Yes this sounds very reasonable.

Before being motivated you must first be well educated.

I can’t make you an engineer, for example, by giving you motivational words. You will only be an engineer when you get educated with what is necessary to be an engineer.

Motivation is the fuel. But education is the know-how.
Education is the true fortune. Education is the technology, processes, systems, etc, that you should know and apply to get the results you want.

So to be a successful person you must first learn how to become successful.

You must learn how successful people did it. You need to educate yourself to become more successful.

Learning the art of success is the first step towards achieving your goals and living with passion.

And the important and vital thing here in this step is to get the education from the right people who achieved maximum levels of success and had the highest contribution to other people’s life.

Success mentors are like Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, Steven Covey, Dale Carnegie…etc. If you learn from the lessons and wisdom of these experts you will build a highly successful mindset and will gain the most elegant education in your life.

But how can you find those success mentors and experts to start learning from their lessons and wisdom?

I asked myself this question zillions of time and was very confident that my subconscious mind will bring me an answer.

And at last, after long searching I found an amazing thing which I couldn’t believe that something like it may ever exist on the entire earth!!!

I found a program called Success University.

About 50 of the most famous authors and big name speakers have come together to create the largest Online Learning University teaching people how to be entrepreneurs and achieve massive success in their life. It’s really amazing and it’s growing like crazy.

And the amazing thing is that you can get a 14-day free access to the largest personal development and success online resource on earth!!!

You can find more information at:
http://tohami.successuniversity.com

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You can start now learning the most powerful success principles and ideas from the best success mentors and experts in the world.

Now, you can become a highly educated person in success and personal achievement.

And when you gain the proper education, motivation will work with you because you will be having the tools and the mindset to lead a successful journey towards a rewarding life.
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My friend you can make a difference…

…I believe in you

(c) Copyright 2006 by Mohamed A. Tohami

Helping you live on purpose and achieve your goals.

http://www.tohami.com